Posh-tall asked me to prepare a legal opinion on some ‘interesting’ legal matter. ‘Interesting’ is the euphemism for ‘tedious’. Naturally, I am far from excited since research would take valuable Spider Solitaire and Facebook time. I quietly grumble for a few minutes before I leave for the library. I see one of the NYSC lawyers (junior yeah!).
‘Hi!’
Maybe the greeting was too enthusiastic but it is hard to restrain my joy at a camel to dump work on.
‘Hello’.
‘So, what are you working on? Which is ‘polite-speak’ for ‘you don’t seem busy’.
‘Nothing really. I haven’t really done much work since we resumed. ‘
Perfect! It’s hard to wipe the grin from my face.
‘So, would you like to work on [the ‘interesting’ matter]?’
‘That is what I wrote my long essay on!’
She is excited. I am thrilled. The poor child is yet to learn.
‘I assume you are interested?’
‘Of course!’
She finishes in five hours, I review it for two. Work is done and turned in to Posh-Tall with a flourish.
Sometimes, I overwhelm myself. Most times, I am just lucky but who is counting?
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Crackberry
Crackberry
One of the associates has an annoying Blackberry addiction – and my upset has nothing to do with the fact that I can’t afford one. It really didn’t annoy me until recently, with little work to do and counsel are engaged in bonding and building friendships. BB addict will divert attention to himself, in the middle of poolroom gossip and scurry to the phone like he was paid for reading messages or that the message would self-destruct in two seconds. Everyone knows lawyers like to hear themselves speak without interruption, whether in court or in the pool room. I am a lawyer, so go figure.
BB addict apparently takes his habit home with him. I mistakenly overheard him complaining to Groveller at lunch that his wife accused him of Tiger-resque tendencies, because he was always fiddling on his phone. He took some time whining about how work took so much of his time and how absolutely impossible it would be to play at Tiger, (even if he wanted to) because of the workload etc. All through his lunch therapy, he was fiddling with his phone. Groveller is too diplomatic to point out the obvious reasons for his wife’s suspicions.
One of the associates has an annoying Blackberry addiction – and my upset has nothing to do with the fact that I can’t afford one. It really didn’t annoy me until recently, with little work to do and counsel are engaged in bonding and building friendships. BB addict will divert attention to himself, in the middle of poolroom gossip and scurry to the phone like he was paid for reading messages or that the message would self-destruct in two seconds. Everyone knows lawyers like to hear themselves speak without interruption, whether in court or in the pool room. I am a lawyer, so go figure.
BB addict apparently takes his habit home with him. I mistakenly overheard him complaining to Groveller at lunch that his wife accused him of Tiger-resque tendencies, because he was always fiddling on his phone. He took some time whining about how work took so much of his time and how absolutely impossible it would be to play at Tiger, (even if he wanted to) because of the workload etc. All through his lunch therapy, he was fiddling with his phone. Groveller is too diplomatic to point out the obvious reasons for his wife’s suspicions.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Happy Christmas! May Your Days Be Long
Lagbaja, Tamedo & Co., my salary-payer and the 8-6 time-spender does not close shop during the holidays. Apart from the official Christmas Day and the first day of the New Year, which we are grudgingly allowed to spend as we like, we remain open, with hands consistently on the plough, through the days before and between our free-days. All responsible legal practitioners know that the Clauses rely on our essential and crucial legal services to keep the elves hard at work and shield them from employer’s liability or scorn for labour rights. We also protect Mr. Santa from those nasty animal rights activists who may attempt to prevent the ‘tireless’ reindeer from flying every year without pay or time off. More importantly, our clueless clients would surely suffer a heart attack and definitely die if we dare keep away from work during the festivities. We think it’s convenient to have clients alive and paying the bills. Prostate matters don’t pay as well as real businesses.
So, we stay here dedicated to justice, fairness and billable hours. We are responsible, like that. Unfortunately, our best laid ideals have largely failed since we haven’t been doing a lot of work. Besides the enjoyable gossip and Facebook, I haven’t really done much work. Gloater and three other associates are suspiciously ill and are not coming to work.
Despite these reasons and many more (which I am sure I can find), I am far from disgruntled. I am into being happy and the spirit of all that is merry, good and glittering. I also hear salaries will be paid before Friday, the 25th, which also makes life beautiful.
Happy Christmas!
So, we stay here dedicated to justice, fairness and billable hours. We are responsible, like that. Unfortunately, our best laid ideals have largely failed since we haven’t been doing a lot of work. Besides the enjoyable gossip and Facebook, I haven’t really done much work. Gloater and three other associates are suspiciously ill and are not coming to work.
Despite these reasons and many more (which I am sure I can find), I am far from disgruntled. I am into being happy and the spirit of all that is merry, good and glittering. I also hear salaries will be paid before Friday, the 25th, which also makes life beautiful.
Happy Christmas!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Felas Women as Psuedo-feminists? Come on!
Fela’s wives were co-fighters in the fight against ‘the corrupt African government’
I like the fact that we celebrate our dead heroes. While recognition is good for those whose hearts still thump, remembering the dead comes to me as recognition of their art and usually devoid sycophancy. In this regard, I salute Najite’s perspective of Fela!, the Broadway musical.
I am however cynical (maybe a little prejudiced but how well can a non-Nigerian tell a Nigerian story? Eh? For instance, while I respect Karl Maier’s journalistic objectivity and integrity, I can’t get past the factual inaccuracies (admittedly slight) and the errors in interpretation in his ‘This House Has Fallen’.
Africa tells Africa’s story best - Chinua Achebe’s ‘Things Fall Apart’ and many more; Chiamanda’s ‘Half of a Yellow Sun’; Ngugi wa Thiong’o’s ‘Weep Not Child’; Samuel Johnson’s ‘The History of the Yorubas’ Oginda Odinga’s ‘Not Yet Uhuru’; etc.
I think it’s an attempt to retell art. Someone (interpret as: ‘Nigerian’) should rewrite Fela as it is.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Rocking Rookie
Dear Rookie Reader,
I know I haven't been updating my blog since it was available elsewhere.
I apologise. From now on, Rookie will also be here and on paper.
I'll also post unpublishable rantings here.
I know I haven't been updating my blog since it was available elsewhere.
I apologise. From now on, Rookie will also be here and on paper.
I'll also post unpublishable rantings here.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
‘Cunny Man Die, Cunny Man Bury Am’
‘Counsel, are you sure you want to move this motion?’
Counsel is two seats away from me but that does not stop him from placing three legal dictionaries between me and the judge and four volumes of Sasegbon in front of the other lawyer next to me. Fairly enough, he can barely see over the law reports supported by a bulky file in front of him. I am far from upset at his intrusive obstruction since it nicely shields my novel from the bench.
‘Yes, My Lord. The matter is slated for hearing of our motion.’
The court is eyeing the lawyer’s threatening mini-library cum artillery. His Lordship tries again –
‘And you say it is an oral application?’
Everyone knows that prospects of an oral application are less threatening with implied brevity – in simple English: bring down the court’s guards by hiding the bulky reports under the table. Bulky Counsel seems clueless.
‘Yes, My Lord, it will take a maximum of thirty minutes’.
He just made it worse. Thirty minutes of writing is enough to terrorise any judge even on the day before a long weekend.
‘Counsel will file a written address. Matter is adjourned to ...’
‘As your Lordship pleases.’
On our way out, Bulky Counsel – Muktar – winks at Gloater and I. Muktar had gambled on ‘convincing’ the court to give him another adjournment without having to ask for it. Our witness had gone AWOL and the Court had threatened to dismiss our matter at the last adjourned date. With the witness still AWOL; Muktar filed some flimsy motion intending to withdraw it at the next adjourned date.
Lawyers are evil. Very Evil.
Counsel is two seats away from me but that does not stop him from placing three legal dictionaries between me and the judge and four volumes of Sasegbon in front of the other lawyer next to me. Fairly enough, he can barely see over the law reports supported by a bulky file in front of him. I am far from upset at his intrusive obstruction since it nicely shields my novel from the bench.
‘Yes, My Lord. The matter is slated for hearing of our motion.’
The court is eyeing the lawyer’s threatening mini-library cum artillery. His Lordship tries again –
‘And you say it is an oral application?’
Everyone knows that prospects of an oral application are less threatening with implied brevity – in simple English: bring down the court’s guards by hiding the bulky reports under the table. Bulky Counsel seems clueless.
‘Yes, My Lord, it will take a maximum of thirty minutes’.
He just made it worse. Thirty minutes of writing is enough to terrorise any judge even on the day before a long weekend.
‘Counsel will file a written address. Matter is adjourned to ...’
‘As your Lordship pleases.’
On our way out, Bulky Counsel – Muktar – winks at Gloater and I. Muktar had gambled on ‘convincing’ the court to give him another adjournment without having to ask for it. Our witness had gone AWOL and the Court had threatened to dismiss our matter at the last adjourned date. With the witness still AWOL; Muktar filed some flimsy motion intending to withdraw it at the next adjourned date.
Lawyers are evil. Very Evil.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Something I Heard from Someone Who Heard from Someone Else
I’m usually one to proclaim belief in the capacity of the human ability to adapt itself to surmount any circumstances. I however never envisioned His Lordship in his scarlet splendour literally behind the bench.
Caveat: These thoughts revolve around bits of gossip I heard from someone who heard it from someone else and far from being a participant in mindless gossip, I only listened since it would have been rude to ignore the story provider. The point is – this story is absolutely a discredited inadmissible yet irresistible hearsay. Really! Here goes:
Locus I hear, was in a court in one of the states in the ‘South-South’, the conservative term for the Niger-Delta. The court was hearing evidence from a ‘dangerously looking’ (not my words) accused person, when a series of loud bangs were heard. My informant swears that the original storyteller said that the noise sounded like the AK-47s bandied in Rambo and Independence Day. In any case, it must have been threatening enough for His Lordship to seek protection under the solid wooden barriers of the bench.
A few minutes later, the (apparently brave) court orderly discovered that the noise was caused by fireworks, the popular ‘banger’ used by children. The culprits were not found so there was no talk of contempt charges.
Caveat: These thoughts revolve around bits of gossip I heard from someone who heard it from someone else and far from being a participant in mindless gossip, I only listened since it would have been rude to ignore the story provider. The point is – this story is absolutely a discredited inadmissible yet irresistible hearsay. Really! Here goes:
Locus I hear, was in a court in one of the states in the ‘South-South’, the conservative term for the Niger-Delta. The court was hearing evidence from a ‘dangerously looking’ (not my words) accused person, when a series of loud bangs were heard. My informant swears that the original storyteller said that the noise sounded like the AK-47s bandied in Rambo and Independence Day. In any case, it must have been threatening enough for His Lordship to seek protection under the solid wooden barriers of the bench.
A few minutes later, the (apparently brave) court orderly discovered that the noise was caused by fireworks, the popular ‘banger’ used by children. The culprits were not found so there was no talk of contempt charges.
Monday, November 30, 2009
‘Hardworking’ is the Civil Euphemism for ‘Stupid’
My weekend was short. No I was not working. My usually slothful Sunday evening was stolen by a ‘young lawyer’, who is also good friend of mine who wanted me to play Agony Rookie. I wasn’t that upset – what is better than using my Nollywood movie time to save a soul? *insert other beneficent expressions*.
My friend spent the better time of my evening complaining about how he was overworked at his law firm; how annoying it felt to intensively research and yet not get a whiff of the juicy litigation bits; and how he felt close to victimised and bullied by his seniors. Just last Friday, a senior associate assigned a thick file to him to prepare the notice of appeal, which ‘must’ be filed by Monday.
The poor naive child.
I mentally adjusted my halo as I castigated him for being ungrateful of the capacity to complain about a job and even work to do in ‘these credit crunched times’. Besides everyone knows that junior associates are recruited for their ability to work as law-donkeys and far from victimised, he amounts to a mere statistic in the thousands slugging their way up the ladder at law factories over the world.
After about twenty minutes of continuous reiteration of his good luck at being ‘chosen’ to play donkey and making shameless analogies to the clichéd half-full glass; he naively believed me, said ‘thank you’; with renewed thoughts of being the ‘good associate’.
Of course, I felt superior-ly secure in my good deed. I didn’t mention my thoughts - only thick people get assigned files thick enough to warrant charges of torture and cruel punishment to trees. With a little time my friend would learn that expression about working smart not hard should be taken at its literal best and he would hone his expertise of toeing the fine line between hardworking and lazy. It’s a lesson to be learned first hand.
My friend spent the better time of my evening complaining about how he was overworked at his law firm; how annoying it felt to intensively research and yet not get a whiff of the juicy litigation bits; and how he felt close to victimised and bullied by his seniors. Just last Friday, a senior associate assigned a thick file to him to prepare the notice of appeal, which ‘must’ be filed by Monday.
The poor naive child.
I mentally adjusted my halo as I castigated him for being ungrateful of the capacity to complain about a job and even work to do in ‘these credit crunched times’. Besides everyone knows that junior associates are recruited for their ability to work as law-donkeys and far from victimised, he amounts to a mere statistic in the thousands slugging their way up the ladder at law factories over the world.
After about twenty minutes of continuous reiteration of his good luck at being ‘chosen’ to play donkey and making shameless analogies to the clichéd half-full glass; he naively believed me, said ‘thank you’; with renewed thoughts of being the ‘good associate’.
Of course, I felt superior-ly secure in my good deed. I didn’t mention my thoughts - only thick people get assigned files thick enough to warrant charges of torture and cruel punishment to trees. With a little time my friend would learn that expression about working smart not hard should be taken at its literal best and he would hone his expertise of toeing the fine line between hardworking and lazy. It’s a lesson to be learned first hand.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Friday: When the Tom Cat is Away, the Other Cats Play with Their Food
Posh-tall, Grey Stripes and Muktar are off to the International Bar Association conference in Madrid. The firm meeting is chaired by Groveller, who seems to be unable to get over the fact that we all have to listen to him, speak. After four hours of bickering and needless expounding of the law, Groveller finally lets us off.
Oh dear.
Oh dear.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Thursday’s Thoughts: No Thoughts
No work!
I really absolutely love this country.
Happy Birthday, Nigeria. Thank you for the day off too.
I really absolutely love this country.
Happy Birthday, Nigeria. Thank you for the day off too.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
And...
I hear Law School results are out today. That is one thing I am excited about – not worrying if I wrote right, not having to review my blood pressure, not wondering if my life will change forever after the resultsor other dramatic thoughts.
All the best to the ‘younger ones’ (yes, I absolutely lurve saying that!).
One advice though – there really is nothing you can do now. Brace yourselves. There are bad times ahead – slugging it out at the bottom, learning and being bossed around. Ha.
All the best to the ‘younger ones’ (yes, I absolutely lurve saying that!).
One advice though – there really is nothing you can do now. Brace yourselves. There are bad times ahead – slugging it out at the bottom, learning and being bossed around. Ha.
Wednesday’s Thoughts: Up the Rung, Officially.
There is something which I had been waiting for the appropriate non-dramatic moment to proclaim, I had planned to ‘accidentally’ slip it into a line or a gripe themed on the need to ‘mentor the younger ones’ or join in the general decry of the falling standard of education and how good lawyers were rare to come by these days... something carelessly mentioned in the as lawyers say, ‘course of business’.
That thing is – I AM NOW OFFICIALLY SOMEONE ELSE’S SENIOR!!!
I feel like another word for glee, like the EFCC Chairman after the Attorney General signed the fiat to prosecute the Famous Five.
After spending one year scrapping my way at the bottom of the ladder, trudging heavy files, being the one to do the dirty annoying work, generally slugging it all out for oxygen with the life beneath the ladder among other revolting activities, the firm has employed a newer wig aka junior at the bar aka rookier rookie aka bully-worthy material, among other adjectives. Finally, I take one step up the rung of the ladder, earning the right to superciliously refer work to someone else and more importantly, never ever take minutes!
Of course, I am thrilled.
I started sharpening my Draco tendencies this morning by ‘delegating’ a long overdue file audit to rookier A, whose pseudonym I have not managed to think of. He just finished with NYSC from a state in the South-South and has not yet exhausted the overall eagerness of a mind fed on Grishams and The Practice, which works for me.
That thing is – I AM NOW OFFICIALLY SOMEONE ELSE’S SENIOR!!!
I feel like another word for glee, like the EFCC Chairman after the Attorney General signed the fiat to prosecute the Famous Five.
After spending one year scrapping my way at the bottom of the ladder, trudging heavy files, being the one to do the dirty annoying work, generally slugging it all out for oxygen with the life beneath the ladder among other revolting activities, the firm has employed a newer wig aka junior at the bar aka rookier rookie aka bully-worthy material, among other adjectives. Finally, I take one step up the rung of the ladder, earning the right to superciliously refer work to someone else and more importantly, never ever take minutes!
Of course, I am thrilled.
I started sharpening my Draco tendencies this morning by ‘delegating’ a long overdue file audit to rookier A, whose pseudonym I have not managed to think of. He just finished with NYSC from a state in the South-South and has not yet exhausted the overall eagerness of a mind fed on Grishams and The Practice, which works for me.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Tuesday’s Thoughts: Kidney Transplants and Rookie Lawyers
‘Would you ask a fresh faced doctor, like the ones in Grey’s Anatomy who gets bullied by everyone, from nurse to consultant, about a kidney transplant?’
That was (or was meant to be) a rhetorical statement, heralding my gripe for the work dumped on my table, this fine Tuesday morning. Just as I finished typo-checking Muktar’s work, one of the office assistants, brought a file to me, with Posh-tall’s calligraphy – ‘Prepare the opinion’.
It is a matter I am sure I don’t know anything about – something on mining rights. I had to run a spell-check on ‘mining’ since I wasn’t even sure how many ‘n’s it had! One the one hand, I am thrilled at the prospect of learning something new, on the other, I worry about the prospects of advising on contracts worth my yearly salary in American dollars.
That was (or was meant to be) a rhetorical statement, heralding my gripe for the work dumped on my table, this fine Tuesday morning. Just as I finished typo-checking Muktar’s work, one of the office assistants, brought a file to me, with Posh-tall’s calligraphy – ‘Prepare the opinion’.
It is a matter I am sure I don’t know anything about – something on mining rights. I had to run a spell-check on ‘mining’ since I wasn’t even sure how many ‘n’s it had! One the one hand, I am thrilled at the prospect of learning something new, on the other, I worry about the prospects of advising on contracts worth my yearly salary in American dollars.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Monday’s thoughts: Why We Should At least Think About Killing All the Lawyers.
Theoretically, arbitration is an alternative form of resolving disputes and lawyering without drawn daggers. Therefore, in textbooks and manuals, they save time; are less expensive and more flexible, and lead to amicable resolution of conflicts among other laudable attributes, unattainable by the regular litigious courts. The ideal arbitral tribunal would resolve issues faster with a judge whose knowledge on the matter would fill a mile high text and parties would continue to live happily ever after.
Yeah.
Whoever thought about this idea must have underestimated the power of ‘true’ legal training, where the better lawyer contests every fact including the shade of the sun on the date the agreement was first thought about, and has countless skills in frustrating the matter by repeated adjournments. A ‘proper lawyer’ knows that settlement is for losers and will ridicule any attempt to reach a solution that does not involve total destruction of the opponent – why preach when we can do carnage and destruction and get paid for it?
At least those are most the lessons I may be learning from law practice. Ghandi and I are handling a six-year old arbitral matter. It used to be handled by another firm until the client debriefed the first firm and handed it over to ours last month. While reading through the case file, I discovered that parties had actually decided to settle about four and a half years ago but after some exchange of correspondence, ‘settlement had broken down’, a synonym for a much longer winded phrase – the-lawyers-would-not-settle-since-settling-would-mean-a-lower-percentage-for-fees.
Due to the limitation laws, the award may not even be enforceable since the agreement was not ‘under seal’ or by deed – which is another formality which rationale still eludes my ignorant self.
Don’t we all love the law and the ass?
Yeah.
Whoever thought about this idea must have underestimated the power of ‘true’ legal training, where the better lawyer contests every fact including the shade of the sun on the date the agreement was first thought about, and has countless skills in frustrating the matter by repeated adjournments. A ‘proper lawyer’ knows that settlement is for losers and will ridicule any attempt to reach a solution that does not involve total destruction of the opponent – why preach when we can do carnage and destruction and get paid for it?
At least those are most the lessons I may be learning from law practice. Ghandi and I are handling a six-year old arbitral matter. It used to be handled by another firm until the client debriefed the first firm and handed it over to ours last month. While reading through the case file, I discovered that parties had actually decided to settle about four and a half years ago but after some exchange of correspondence, ‘settlement had broken down’, a synonym for a much longer winded phrase – the-lawyers-would-not-settle-since-settling-would-mean-a-lower-percentage-for-fees.
Due to the limitation laws, the award may not even be enforceable since the agreement was not ‘under seal’ or by deed – which is another formality which rationale still eludes my ignorant self.
Don’t we all love the law and the ass?
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Thursday’s Thoughts: Heard in Court
Counsel A: ‘My Lord, I am afraid that I would have to ask for an adjournment as my lead counsel is unavoidably absent as he had gone on lesser Hajj.’
I know that counsel A’s lead counsel has not gone on lesser Hajj but is in Dubai for an extended vacation. I know that because the lead counsel is Muktar, one of the senior associates at the firm and I am Counsel A. I just lied. There goes yet another piece of my soul to the Devil.
*Sniff*
I know that counsel A’s lead counsel has not gone on lesser Hajj but is in Dubai for an extended vacation. I know that because the lead counsel is Muktar, one of the senior associates at the firm and I am Counsel A. I just lied. There goes yet another piece of my soul to the Devil.
*Sniff*
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Wednesday’s Thoughts: Holidays are over
Wednesday’s Thoughts: Holidays are over!
Did I mention this? Vacation is over? Lawyers are once again being friendly to court clerks; everyone is tipping the court's security; there’s increased acrimony as interns are complaining about having to carry heavy files; seniors are issuing memos to express their displeasure over badly written briefs; everything is back to normal.
Did I mention this? Vacation is over? Lawyers are once again being friendly to court clerks; everyone is tipping the court's security; there’s increased acrimony as interns are complaining about having to carry heavy files; seniors are issuing memos to express their displeasure over badly written briefs; everything is back to normal.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Tuesday’s Thoughts: Client is King?
Usually, I try to assure myself of my unending patience and love for the world. At this time of my life, ‘my world’ is the law office and usually includes clients who pay the bills to keep the law office open. This means I am a whole lot more restrained with clients than Kanye West at the VMA or Serena Williams at an annoying line judge. Recently, I have been dealing with a client who has deeply shaken my illusions of sainthood (a different client from the one who went volte face for the amendments on Monday). This one is another horror client nightmare, like the type law school teachers warned us about. Last week, he sent at least a dozen emails on Monday and another dozen on Wednesday to clarify a point that was clearer than rice paper. Today, I spent forty minutes trying to convince him to sign an affidavit. After we got past the fact that he did not have to actually go to court and take oath before the commissioner for oaths, I had to explain every line of the affidavit to him. Then he had me reprinting the affidavit since he insisted that I insert the word ‘JP’ after his name like it was a national honour.
After another bit of pacifying, he finally signed it and left the office. Ghandi suggests that I sent a bill on an hourly rate and request for a deposit on account. I intend to.
After another bit of pacifying, he finally signed it and left the office. Ghandi suggests that I sent a bill on an hourly rate and request for a deposit on account. I intend to.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Monday’s Thoughts: Kill the Trees; Use lots of paper.
Lawyers like a lot of paper. The official reason for our love for treecide is the need to keep proper records. Paper serves as evidence when integrity of a gentleman’s agreement fails. Instances abound - paper may be the reason why everyone knows that a loan was given without adequate collateral and why committees to probe fraud are caught in fraudulent acts.
However, I have discovered sundry uses of paper. Ordinarily looking paper, in the right volume, bound in branded (sober looking, of course) jackets can be transformed into a high-utility courtroom accessory. Better still, since few have the patience to read through more than ten lines without their minds wandering to lunch, papers, when filled with appropriate multiple words, provide a ready logical excuse to bill more – the client is impressed at the amount of ‘industry’ gone into filling the sheets with ink, the lawyer’s ego is massaged at the amount of paper he has filled; everyone is happy and the world is one step closer to world peace.
Flowing from my inherent goodness and strong determination to be a ‘good lawyer’, which in my mind, is a mix between Ayo Obe and the late Gani; and my strong love for the use of technology supported by my lack of aptitude (read: laziness) for carrying anything heavier than my phone and flash drive; all clothed in my belief in the inherent integrity of all, I have scorned such underhand moves *insert additional self righteous phrases* of filling paper for less than what is right and true.
At least until today. My paper phobia almost put me into some trouble. I have been working on an agreement with a client who would instruct and reinstruct by telephone. Usually, I’ll send an email to restate her verbal instructions for record purposes. Some time during negotiations, the other party requested for certain amendments to the agreement, which I discussed with the client by telephone. It was mainly a commercial decision and after I explained the consequences to the client, she agreed to incorporate these amendments. Perhaps, she did not think it through. For some silly and probably lazy reason, I did not send a letter. Just as we were about to forward the final copy of the agreement for execution, Posh-tall had the good sense to question a particular clause. She calls the client by telephone. After two minutes of explaining the consequences of the clause to the client, the client claims that I never mentioned the clause to her.
Posh tall is wise enough to realise the client may not have been truthful but blames me for not having a written commitment. She is quite right.
Lesson to learn: baring any invasion of cockroaches, the paper will outlast us all.
However, I have discovered sundry uses of paper. Ordinarily looking paper, in the right volume, bound in branded (sober looking, of course) jackets can be transformed into a high-utility courtroom accessory. Better still, since few have the patience to read through more than ten lines without their minds wandering to lunch, papers, when filled with appropriate multiple words, provide a ready logical excuse to bill more – the client is impressed at the amount of ‘industry’ gone into filling the sheets with ink, the lawyer’s ego is massaged at the amount of paper he has filled; everyone is happy and the world is one step closer to world peace.
Flowing from my inherent goodness and strong determination to be a ‘good lawyer’, which in my mind, is a mix between Ayo Obe and the late Gani; and my strong love for the use of technology supported by my lack of aptitude (read: laziness) for carrying anything heavier than my phone and flash drive; all clothed in my belief in the inherent integrity of all, I have scorned such underhand moves *insert additional self righteous phrases* of filling paper for less than what is right and true.
At least until today. My paper phobia almost put me into some trouble. I have been working on an agreement with a client who would instruct and reinstruct by telephone. Usually, I’ll send an email to restate her verbal instructions for record purposes. Some time during negotiations, the other party requested for certain amendments to the agreement, which I discussed with the client by telephone. It was mainly a commercial decision and after I explained the consequences to the client, she agreed to incorporate these amendments. Perhaps, she did not think it through. For some silly and probably lazy reason, I did not send a letter. Just as we were about to forward the final copy of the agreement for execution, Posh-tall had the good sense to question a particular clause. She calls the client by telephone. After two minutes of explaining the consequences of the clause to the client, the client claims that I never mentioned the clause to her.
Posh tall is wise enough to realise the client may not have been truthful but blames me for not having a written commitment. She is quite right.
Lesson to learn: baring any invasion of cockroaches, the paper will outlast us all.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Are our Heroes better off dead?
I tried to vote Gani in 2003. I only tried because after four hours at the polling booth, something told me that between my one vote and the thugs who were also waiting for the electoral officers; the latter were more likely to be that last snowflake for the electoral avalanche. I however still rooted for Gani, from the safe confines of my house and grieved when he lost, like I would also later grieve for another preferred candidate in the 2007 elections.
I also liked what Gani for what he did for ‘lawyer’ image – knowledgeable human rights activist.
The point is – I have some history with the late Gani and I have a reason to grieve. What I can’t fathom is the sudden love and adoration for a man who was underappreciated while alive. Everyone at work is saying something about the loss of Gani and its impact on the Nigerian legal sector. I find it weird that even Groveller and Muktar who used to scorn Gani’s law reports are close to suggesting he be made a saint of law reporting. Perhaps we prefer our heroes when they are dead and buried and far away from troubling our consciences.
I also liked what Gani for what he did for ‘lawyer’ image – knowledgeable human rights activist.
The point is – I have some history with the late Gani and I have a reason to grieve. What I can’t fathom is the sudden love and adoration for a man who was underappreciated while alive. Everyone at work is saying something about the loss of Gani and its impact on the Nigerian legal sector. I find it weird that even Groveller and Muktar who used to scorn Gani’s law reports are close to suggesting he be made a saint of law reporting. Perhaps we prefer our heroes when they are dead and buried and far away from troubling our consciences.
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